Your partner has a front row seat to the way you interact and can be a helpful tool in increasing self-awareness. Try to establish a safe, open dialogue with your partner to discuss problems with communication and possible solutions.
This requires you to open yourself to potentially negative and hurtful feedback, and you may not always like what you hear.
Become aware of any tendencies to justify or defend actions that your partner finds problematic, and work together to see how each of you can stop or minimise the conflict.